I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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