we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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