We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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