They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
