if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize