Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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