she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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