are you still at the devil's house?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
