I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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