My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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