if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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