Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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