I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
