Nicole vs. Life
ugly people sure do ruin things
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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