i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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