One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
