My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
