Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
