I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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