He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
