Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
