I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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