If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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