I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
