He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
