New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
