i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
