did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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