I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is Oprah even human
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
