he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
