i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So vagazzling was a success
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