bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
