i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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