I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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