sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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