Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Come on in and take your pants off
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