Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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