you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
