But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
