Swine flu. Run for my life!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize