when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
