The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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