"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
