How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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