It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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