so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i think my tv is drunk
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You may now shotgun with the bride
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
