Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
