girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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