just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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