i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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