So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
