I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
