I heard we made out
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
