but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
