The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
me + whiskey = a bad person
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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