i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
