i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Drunk is a universal language darling
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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