I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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